What is this that woke me from my slumber?
“We’re heading out of sight. Beyond the walls of wrong or right. Desperate dreamers on the seas. Renegades and refugees”
November 16, 2011
July 23, 2010
When Manners Destroy Expression
I approach them – they are acquaintances which have information I seek. I say hello. They answer and ask how I am, where I reply with the usual drab comment. If I were to be honest, I would bludgeon the momentum of the comfortable conversation, as well as create an awkward mood. I do this often, sometimes it is fun, but today I wish to articulate my request.
The conversation ends quickly with the words ‘Great! Have a good day as well!’ which were not spoken by me. My information is walking away from me. ‘Excuse me’ I say, while gathering my words of request. Suddenly dark and serious, I bludgeoned the momentum. If you do not believe ‘Excuse me’ could be as bad as ‘Go Fuck Yourselves!’ you are quite mistaken.
A dirty look, a turn, a continued pace. I follow.
‘Wait! Please tell me…’ The conversation axe is ready. At the word ‘please’ their look is grim. Am I begging them for something? Could I have transformed into Larry David? Where did everything go wrong? This was not your usual conversation, this seem fated to fail. Everything was not in the right place. It was over. I left it as that and decided to re-approach the situation later.
The next day I ask the question directly, no ‘Hello’ or ‘How are you’, straight into the business end. Success.
These simple conversation mannerisms have ruined the direction of my conversation, made me lie, created an atmosphere of avoidance, and destroy my expression.
I will try not to lie again about how I am feeling, excuse myself, or beg for attention with that horrible word ‘please’.
Go Fuck Yourselves!
July 14, 2010
And suddenly he wakes
Damn that was a long sleep. The last thing I remember is going to this incredibly boring place with all of these ugly colors and playing with stickers.. (don’t ask).. then POW, I am now awake. I lost almost 8 months due to this nap.
Damn the Big Brother.
November 1, 2009
Black Room Stereo – Effigy
I have been meaning to describe this strange project for awhile, even to close friends. Effigy is an industrial metal project of mine which contains bombastic intensity with complex drumming, moody distorted guitar, and metalcore-like vocals. I came up with the idea when writing the title song to the Shattered album, as it became a sort of release of rage and intensity that I had pent up at the time. Over the years, Shattered remained an almost physically unbearable song to listen to, and I wanted to revisit this strange sound again. This is of course before I really heard any real Metalcore, so I had some strange ideas about how crazy I could make this project. With the album, Black Room Stereo, I did revisit Shattered, albeit with a more ambient loop based formula but obtaining the signature random drum sound. After writing the ridiculously over-the-top and all over the place The Pendant, I craved to write fuzzy blasts of industrial once again and started an experimental song called Nightmares. I rewrote this a few dozen times, and now it resides as the opening and closing track of Effigy, the latter being a short coda smashed into the butt end of a mimic version of the song. Other parts of Effigy I had been carrying around with me since back when writing Shattered. This is definitely something I will be playing live, and will require two drummers.
I have yet to complete the final track-listing as some tracks need names, so heres a bastardization:
1. Track 1
2. Track 2
3. Track 3
4. Track 4
5. Track 5
6. Track 6
7. Track 7
8. Track 8
ps. This project does contain The Tower’s Heartbeat.
October 26, 2009
Glass / Mirror Tracklist part 2
So here it is, the final part of the track-listing. Yes, this would be a double album:
Mirror
01 – Reflection II 2:00
02 – Explosion I 5:00
03 – Explosion II 6:00
04 – Violence 5:00
05 – Blood 7:00
06 – Witness 6:00
07 – Reflection III 8:00
08 – Freedom 10:00
Track times are estimated before recording.
After giving this album a lot of thought, I realize this has taken quite a lot more time than my usual. Here are the dates of previous albums (or collections) in comparison.
One (instrumentals) – 1992
Two (instrumentals) – 1993
Three (instrumentals) – 1994 (scrapped)
-note : all instrumentals eventually became songs
Trilogy – 1994
-note: what I would call songwriters diarrhea tossed into three mood piece collections, eventually fleshed out more, and many became completely different beasts
Vaccine – 1995 (scrapped, most songs went to Lifeless and Shattered)
Chameleon – 1997 (scrapped, most songs forgotten, some went to Lifeless)
Green – 1998 (scrapped, songs went to Lifeless, Titan)
Ivory – 1998 (scrapped, songs went to Frozen and The Trial)
-Note: These four never felt right, I had to start over as I was forgetting songs. One song I called ‘untitled’ I humorously use to reference this mistake as I remember it being so good, but it remains forgotten.
The Trial – 1998 – First concept album.
Lifeless – 1999 – A typical collection of songs, no central concept.
Shattered – 2000 – Incredibly intense industrial (III) album written after hearing Nine Inch Nails. Ends with one of my favorites.
Controlled – 2000 – Beat versions and mixes of Shattered songs.
Frozen – 2000 – My favorite piece, finally found out how to write atmospheric songs the way I want them.
Red – 2001 – Mostly instrumental, incredibly evil sounding.
Titan – 2001 – Anti War album, everybody writes these right?
Colour Emotion – 2001 – Experiment on emotion, every track feels completely different but feels good on a whole.
Black Room Stereo – 2002 – Somewhat Shattered sequel, dark ambient industrial.
Lines – 2002 – My big breakdown album, everybody writes these right?
Changed – 2003 – Second part of breakdown album.
Metal – 2003 – Frozen done backwards, industrial style
The Pendant – 2005 – First full concept album (done on purpose) since The Trial.
I Breathe Blue Smoke – 2007 – A 7 track masterpiece (yes I love it) based on city life.
Effigy – 2007 – Black Room Stereo sequel of sorts, far more metal sounding, written before I really got into metal. No seriously.
Glass / Mirror – 2009 – Concept album about lies.
Well.. that wasn’t so bad.